What are we, as parents, to do when other adults in our childs' lives misbehave?
Innately, parents want to protect their children. We want to do everything in our power to keep their little psyches intact. We don't want them subjected to any unnecessary pain...physical or emotional. But what do we do when something, or someone, out of our control tramples on our little nuggets? How do we handle situations like this? What do we tell them? How do we explain away the bad behavior of an adult?
My son, "the Quarterback", recently found himself in such a situation. He is part of a local flag football league. A league which prides itself on teaching the children the rules of the game while promoting good sportsmanship. Sadly, he & his teammates ended up on the wrong end of the field when it came to proper football etiquette.
I will not go in to all the the nitty gritty, but his coach ended up threatening the referee and the game was subsequently called; our team being forced to forfeit. The boys didn't understand. A few were visibly upset. Personally, I was angry & embarassed for our team. I felt horribly for the boys. They were there to play football...to have fun.
I passed out snacks to the team. Told them how great they were and we would see everyone the following week. They smiled, quietly thanking me for the snacks. I could see...feel...their disappointment. My heart was breaking for them.
I turned to my son, who was being consoled by my father. He had tears in his eyes. He blamed it on being tired, but I knew he was upset by the events of the last hour. I wanted to rush over to the coach and blast him for his behavior. Point out to him, in my "momma voice" how ridiculous he was acting; how childish he was behaving. Wag my finger, bringing to his attention how he was no longer following those 'good sportsmanship' rules he'd been touting to the other team & the ref. Alas, my better senses kicked in. (Good thing for him. Ha!)
I digress...whew!
I do my best to tell my children the truth, age appropriate truth, but the truth. We talked about what had happened during the game. He filled me in on a couple of things I wasn't aware of. I asked him some questions, he asked me some in return. I can only hope that QB walked away understanding what angered the coach (the same actions that frustrated he & each of his teammates), but the choices he made were not those of mercy & grace. Choices not of a good sport. Choices lacking self-control.
By the time we arrived back at home, QB was happily playing MineCraft on his ipod. I logged on to my computer to find an email was waiting from the coach. He apologized (sort of) for his behavior and advised us that he would no longer be our coach. I was saddened by this, another of his choices. But in the wise words of my father, "Maybe it's for the best".
Maybe, Dad, maybe.
Innately, parents want to protect their children. We want to do everything in our power to keep their little psyches intact. We don't want them subjected to any unnecessary pain...physical or emotional. But what do we do when something, or someone, out of our control tramples on our little nuggets? How do we handle situations like this? What do we tell them? How do we explain away the bad behavior of an adult?
My son, "the Quarterback", recently found himself in such a situation. He is part of a local flag football league. A league which prides itself on teaching the children the rules of the game while promoting good sportsmanship. Sadly, he & his teammates ended up on the wrong end of the field when it came to proper football etiquette.
I will not go in to all the the nitty gritty, but his coach ended up threatening the referee and the game was subsequently called; our team being forced to forfeit. The boys didn't understand. A few were visibly upset. Personally, I was angry & embarassed for our team. I felt horribly for the boys. They were there to play football...to have fun.
I passed out snacks to the team. Told them how great they were and we would see everyone the following week. They smiled, quietly thanking me for the snacks. I could see...feel...their disappointment. My heart was breaking for them.
I turned to my son, who was being consoled by my father. He had tears in his eyes. He blamed it on being tired, but I knew he was upset by the events of the last hour. I wanted to rush over to the coach and blast him for his behavior. Point out to him, in my "momma voice" how ridiculous he was acting; how childish he was behaving. Wag my finger, bringing to his attention how he was no longer following those 'good sportsmanship' rules he'd been touting to the other team & the ref. Alas, my better senses kicked in. (Good thing for him. Ha!)
I digress...whew!
I do my best to tell my children the truth, age appropriate truth, but the truth. We talked about what had happened during the game. He filled me in on a couple of things I wasn't aware of. I asked him some questions, he asked me some in return. I can only hope that QB walked away understanding what angered the coach (the same actions that frustrated he & each of his teammates), but the choices he made were not those of mercy & grace. Choices not of a good sport. Choices lacking self-control.
By the time we arrived back at home, QB was happily playing MineCraft on his ipod. I logged on to my computer to find an email was waiting from the coach. He apologized (sort of) for his behavior and advised us that he would no longer be our coach. I was saddened by this, another of his choices. But in the wise words of my father, "Maybe it's for the best".
Maybe, Dad, maybe.
